There often will come a time in a relationship, or with a friend or co-worker when you feel you need to tell them a painful truth. Before you do however, realize that you don’t always have to tell someone the truth if it will be painful.
Sometimes with an acquaintance/friend/coworker/partner when no harm will come to them, you can omit something minor or tell a white lie……………no harm, no foul.
However, when you’ve weighed the options and have decided that you must tell a painful truth, here are some tips to make it easier, on both of you:
• Timing is everything. Make sure they aren’t dealing with another terrible stress. Try to tell them when they are emotionally stable if possible.
• Pick a quiet place with no distractions in a comfortable setting.
• Try to plan it in advance. Hey Joe there is something important I need to talk to you about can we set a day/time?
• Don’t beat around the bush and talk about a lot of other things first. They will perceive from you that something is wrong. Get straight to the point.
• Start with a positive about the individual, then tell the painful truth. Example: Sarah you are one of the most honest/smartest/friendliest people I know, but I have to tell you that……………
• Allow them to process and respond. After you tell the truth then WAIT for their response.
• Allow them to ask questions. This is how we come to terms and better understand a painful reality. So answer each and every one.
• Don’t allow the meeting to drag on too long. Usually 30 minutes to an hour is the max.
• Tell them if they have further questions later, after they think about it that you are available to discuss (within reason and depending on how close you are).
After all the talking is over try to end the meeting on a positive note or with a bit of humor if possible. This helps them realize this is not the end of the world and that life does go on.
This is a situation that we all hope we never have to face, but as with all things in life a little planning and thoughtfulness can go a long way.
